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Rotten Television

After only three episodes, Mr. Rotten left the show due to an argument with VH1. If I hear of the shows being archived anywhere, I'll post it.

It seemed unlikely that a television show would ever merit a review in Fast'n' Bulbous. There's a first time for everything and here it is... I recently watched the debut of "Rotten Television" on VH1 (home of the addictive "Behind The Music" rockumentaries) and loved it!

I had high hopes for John Lydon's dependably snide and styptic wit, he was always my favorite Pistol. He was the true weird one, with a taste for Captain Beefheart, German space-rock (Can, Faust) and Jamaican dub (Keith Hudson). Without him, the Sex Pistols would have still been playing regurgitated New York Dolls and Roxy Music covers in '77. As for PiL, it put out at least one true classic, the "Metal Box/Second Edition" with Lydon's childhood friend Jah Wobble. Some of his later albums and the recent Sex Pistols reunion, complete with the bizarre rumors about his involvement with VH-1 favorite, Britney Spears, were a bit of an embarrassment, but hey, you can't win 'em all. However, his 1994 autobiography, "No Irish - No Blacks - No Dogs," was a fascinating, often hilarious read. Fast forward to Y2K; now he has his own cable show.

The program is still getting its sea legs. It started a bit slowly with Lydon going behind the scenes of the Rosie O'Donnell show and (surprise) getting kicked out. But soon I was rolling as he bought some overpriced punk memorabilia and put it out of its misery with a tank. Next we have Lydon hitting us over the head, "What was left behind is irrelevant -- it's what was DONE that counts." While such earnestness seems uncharacteristic, the show's mix of absurdity, sarcasm and mischievous fun fit Lydon to a rubber T, plowing a crusty old Brit's sneering wit into Michael Moore's ("The Awful Truth") concern with down-to-earth, class conscious, situationist honesty, and the surrealist slapstick of MTV's "The Tom Greene Show. Part of the credit goes to the show's co-creator and writer, George Gimarc, author of two of the most frighteningly obsessive, detailed chronologies of the punk and post-punk years available ("Punk Diary 1970-1979" and "Post-Punk Diary 1980-1983").

At one point I was given to wild squirmings as he interviewed hapless applicants for a fictitious VJ job for Rotten TV. Those poor lemmings had no idea, none, who they were dealing with. Through my tears I couldn't help but feel sorry for them, and not in the nice way. The shakiest moment was his self-indulgent criticism of too easily targeted rockstars such as Ozzy Osbourne, Axl Rose and Courtney Love. Seems they had all declined to guest on the show. Even Neil Young refused, via his management, telling Lydon only that Neil grants interviews to people "he knows." The moment was redeemed with his undie-soaking impersonation of Young (complete with hat and grandpa-grunge wig) singing, "The King is gone but he's not forgotten/This is the story of Johnny Rotten." That image will be forever etched on my brain. The show ended bravely with (mostly negative) feedback from some test viewers, prats. Overall a promising and audacious kick in tee-vee's soft, plump butt. See it before VH1 shakes out of their daze and cancels the show!

Show number two of a planned seven deals with the Sundance Film Festival's debut of the Sex Pistols documentary, "The Filth and the Fury." Lydon interviewed actors including Christopher Walken, Danny Devito and Neve Campbell, and was surprisingly polite.

-- A.S. Van Dorston


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The Ideal Copy
You can buy some of the albums reviewed/listed in Fast 'n' Bulbous, particularly imports and reissues, at The Ideal Copy. Since Amazon inhaled CDNow and Djangos lied and cheated me out of my affiliate credit, I'm banning corporate affiliates. Shop indie! If you can't find what you're looking for at The Ideal Copy, check Insound, Alldirect, Dustygroove, and Siren Disc for imports.


Since October 1995, Fast 'n' Bulbous has been a one man operation, a labor of love rather than profit venture. I maintain an editorial policy of publishing mainly positive reviews, with the idea that people should be turned on to the best music. I only review what I feel like because I don't get paid for it. If you think I should review something I don't like, feel free to pay me. I will happily (or begrudgingly, depending on my mood) review crappy albums for $.50 a word. Don't think this buys you a positive review, this ain't Rolling Stone. Most likely I'll attack it like a rabid dog on a captured squirrel.

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